Taming the Rostrum Beast
is within every speakers reach
My brief for tonight is to tell you a tale
An ode to the Beast that is Rostrum, and how to prevail
My ups, my downs, my experiences so far
All from the adventures of the Launchpad Grimoire
Without further adieu, sit back and relax
For I’m about to spitfire, truth and facts
Word of the day was my very first speech
Simple, straightforward, within my reach
But deceptive is the Rostrum Beast
The second I stood, my heart rate increased
Palms sweaty
Knees weak
Arms heavy
I was not ready
Anxiety took hold, I began to feel stuck
I was shaking so much
It felt like I’d been hit by a truck
I made a quick exit before I could faint
The Beast that is Rostrum did not show restraint
I’m not going to lie, I thought that was it
I’d forever be branded an unfit half-wit
But that did not happen, there was no insult
Instead, I found a home within the Rostrum Club 5 Cult
Early on Thursdays, we’d all gather round
Where the best of us would be ritualistically crowned
Best on Ground, I’ve rarely received
Tristan says it isn’t rigged, if that can be believed
But I kept on going, facing the Rostrum Beast head-on
Week after week, the Rostrum Beast was strong
And so for the past three years
Through blood sweat and tears
I’ve grown as a speaker alongside my peers
Three years ago the thought of speaking
At Robbie Burns, would have had me freaking
But now I stand with beer in hand
In my former no-man’s land
The Rostrum Beast is felled, quelled and expelled
No longer within its claws am I held
So listen closely to these words of wisdom
Perhaps you too can defeat your sympathetic nervous system
Fake it till you make it, become your own boss
Stand tall, stand proud, tell the Rostrum Beast to get lost
With that in mind, my tale ends, and I propose a toast
To the Rostrum Beast, the Club and our Guests
And to you, all members, who matter the most
Marc De Ronchi – Lavan Club 5
Rostrum member 3 years
Presented November 2021 at Lavan’s annual Robbie Burn’s Gala evening
